Body Rocking

Lately I have noticed Ella body rocking.  She just sits here and rocks back and forth while watching tv.  This may sound horrible, but my heart sinks every time I see her do it.  It scares me, I feel it is a symptom of something much bigger, or rather, things to come.  When I lightly touch her, she immediately stops.  She doesn't acknowledge that I touched her, she just stops.  She has her weighted blanket on her lap and still, the rocking ensues.  So, what do I do...sit on her to stop her from rocking, hold her arms while she flaps them when she is excited or just let Ella be Ella (a wonderful, beautiful child with some sensory difficulties). I choose to let Ella be Ella, for the time being.

However, in the back of my mind I wonder if letting Ella be Ella isn't such a good idea.  I wonder when the day will come that a child makes fun of her for "arm flapping" when she is excited. Will a little piece of her spirit die? I hope I will have helped her be a stronger person than this.  I hope I instill in her that she is who she is and that is wonderful, hand flapping and all.  Could I have helped her by stopping it now.  Should I tell her that there are other ways to convey excitement.

Maybe being different creates greatness.  Maybe it is the diversity and the ability to cope with it that creates fascinating, wonderful people.  I know some very wonderful people and none of them are "normal".  After all, what is normal?  Who woke up one day and deemed themselves "normal" and someone else "abonormal".  I refuse to accept or acknowledge normal.  Everyone has their idiosyncrasies.  It is those differences and quirks that make us all so special.

People suspected to have some for of Autism or sensory issue:

1. Einstein
2. Has Christian Anderson
3. Charles Darwin
4. Emily Dickinson
5. Thomas Jefferson
6. Mozart
7. Issac Newton
8. George Orwell
9. Andy Warhol
10. James Joyce

I am sure there are many more...

I started looking into this because one of Ella's OTs told me this was a gift.  I looked at her funny and wanted to say, "You can have it back".  You take the night terrors and the rocking, the hitting, the head banging, the not eating, the failure to thrive, the WHATEVER, and shove it...well, you get the point.

Ella does some amazing things for a 2 1/2 year old.  Her photographic memory is amazing and the ability to grasp concepts blows my mind.  I am told this is partly due to her heighten sensory awareness, for better or worse.  We went to the OT once.  This is a very generic looking place.  When we pull up the second time in the car, before we even get into the parking lot, she asks me to play with the toys and the baby.  This is exactly what she did with the OT the previous week. There are many more examples like this.  Everyone thinks their kid is special, so I may be biased. 

Maybe because she can't filter out the world around her like the rest of us, she just takes it in all the more.  I just don't know. My point is, maybe I should stop looking at this as a disability.  Lets take a more positive route.  Don't get me wrong, I am sure I will have my days where I still want to run for the hills...BUT once I get there, I will remind myself of all the positive things that have come from this and walk back down the hill head held high.

Children are a gift. A precious fleeting gift. Don't take them for granted, now matter how different or difficult they may seem.  Love them for who they.  Love them because of their differences not in spite of them.   I remind myself of this every day.

Busy weekend....and night terrors

We had a great weekend!  Ella behaved for the most part and we didn't have too many meltdowns.....UNTIL this afternoon.   And it was a BIG one.  I am actually starting to thing she is having night terrors.

She wakes up from her nap sometimes (usually about three hours) and just screams like someone is ripping out her insides.  It is awful to watch.  She can not be consoled.  Anything I say or do makes it worse.  As evil as this sounds, I am thinking about videotaping it just so I can show the OT. They last for about 20 minutes sometimes and are really difficult to watch.  I have learned to just leave her alone, as my presence tends to lengthen them or make them worse.

On a side note...we are flying to Houston on the 21st over night.  Lets just hope she does not have a night terror (or whatever this is) on the plane.  I am sure all the passengers would appreciate that!

We have two OT sessions tomorrow back to back....it is going to be a long, but productive morning.  NIGHT ALL...whoever is reading this?!